The term gender has become an indispensable part of the discourse, even though it’s getting overused. This is due to the failure of English to distinguish between sex and sex.

“Having sex” employs the same word as “being of a particular sex.” This confusion doesn’t exist in every language, but explains why in American English, gender has begun to fill the void. The word has overtaken sex even when the latter term is more appropriate.

At the zoo, for example, people will ask, “What is the gender of that giraffe?” In scientific journals, we may see titles such as “Sexual differences as adaptation to the different gender roles in the frog.” A website on canines explains, “Identifying a puppy’s gender is important: You do not want to end up with a dog of the sex you didn’t want.”

Strictly speaking, this usage is incorrect. If the term gender refers to the cultural side of an individual’s sex, its use should be limited to individuals who are affected by cultural norms. Despite the evidence for animal culture, I’d rather assign giraffes, frogs, and puppies a sex than a gender. Even the “gender reveal parties” thrown for human pregnancies shouldn’t be called that because the unborn haven’t yet been exposed to culture. They have no gender, only a sex.

Ironically, a term put forward as an alternative to biological sex has come to stand for it. This obviously muddles the discussion of a delicate topic.

Frans de Waal, Different

And who would’ve thought? It figures . . .

Alanis Morissette, Ironic

The world is bigger than those metaphysical black-hole sphincters will ever understand.

One man—with a woman in his arms—outweighs their whole slimy universe of nuclear ectoplasm, graph-paper abstractions and Day-Glo polka-dot electric Kool-Aid scientific pointillism.

Ed Abbey, Fool’s Progress

I am quite carnal by nature, which is not at all at odds with my intellectual tendencies.

Popular culture would have you believe that the “nerds” and the “geeks” and the “dweebs” and the “dorks” are hopeless when it comes to matters of the heart and body.

But just as a more educated palate can better appreciate the subtle distinctions between various varietal wines, a person educated in the arts of seduction and sex can and will prove to be a superior lover.

Charlie Kaufman, Antkind

It’s time for some mind sex
We ain’t got to take our clothes off yet
We can burn the incense and just chat

Relax, I got the good vibrations
Before we make love, let’s have a good conversation

Dead Prez, Mind Sex

i like my body when it is with your
body.  It is so quite new a thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body.  i like what it does,
i like its hows.  i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones, and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss,  i like kissing this and that of you,
i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz
of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh . . . And eyes big love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you so quite new

e.e. cummings, i like my body when it is with your

behold my spunk
—for you—
banana ramma mamma
manna from heaven

P Willy